When I was little, I thought that grown-ups had it all figured out. That once you turned a certain age, the universe became clear. Life would be all lighted-up and make perfect sense.
Every adult I have ever known must be faking it.
The older I get, the more lost I am. Half the time, I have no idea what I'm doing. You know how you can tell when a person's lost because they slowly rotate in the same spot? Sometimes they move to take a step but then pull their leg back in. That is what my brain does all of the time. Something picked me up out of my small, safe child-world and dropped me into this massive and strange grown-up world and said "Go!"
So I do what every reasonable adult does. "Maybe, if I make it look like I know what I'm doing, everything will work out." I am learning the art of stepping confidently towards who knows where. Speaking with assurance when my brain is screaming "What do I do? What do I say?" What is going on?" Making decisions concerning things I know nothing about. You know, ad libbing.
You just have to jump off the cliff all the time, and build your wings on the way down. All you can do is pick the cliff that looks the best and jump, do everything you can, and see where you end up. Terrifying, yes. But once you get used to it, free falling is kind of fun.
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2 comments:
Gosh, you make me really think about the adult world. It's really not as free as it seems. It makes me want to run back to being a little kid again. Hmm, but we should all embrace the future, shouldn't we? The past is the past, so let's leave it there. Jeepers! Now I'm feeling all philosophical!
No, it's really fun. But I would be lying if I said they're weren't times when I want to run screaming back to age 5. How many times did Bilbo wish for his warm fire and a good supper? It's just part of the adventure.
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