Friday, March 30, 2007

life is beautiful, but it's complicated...

Well, just like I said, spring came and life sped right up. Four days until spring break, then four weeks until APs, then a month to kill until Graduation. Then summer. Then (augh!) college. College. Have you ever repeated a word over and over to yourself until it's lost all meaning? I have spent two years anticipating, planning for, panicking over, and dreaming about college. In exactly five months, I will be in college. It's entirely outside the realm of my comprehension. I'm about to take out loans. Loans are scary, scary stuff when you're 17. And I can't even tell you how much I will miss my friends and family.

The other day, I was swinging in the park by my house, laughing with Mel, enjoying the sun, a half-drained milkshake at my feet. I was wondering how life could possibly get any better. But I think the moment I walk out of my small, ugly and smelly high school knowing that I never, ever have to come back, life is going to be really good. When I walk across the stage and grab my Diploma, that's going to be nice, too. Walking into my empty dormroom with a boxload of stuff and nothing else, I think I'll actually like that.

I don't like to think about saying goodbye. But this year I've learned a thing or two about flexibility. Everything will change, that's for sure. But if we can all encompass the change instead of fight it, and deal with weekend trips and bussing and seven time zone' difference, it can still be good. And I will have to go get my own life- but that's how it's supposed to be. Besides, it's the glorious 21 century. I can sit at breakfast with my webcam, and see and hear and talk with one friend 45 minutes away, and another friend an ocean and a continent away. It'll be hard, but we're tough, and we know it's worth it.

I'm ready.

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