Rollercoaster Ride, Indeed.

Why doesn't anything ever go like I plan it? The play was sold out last night and no amount of title-dropping could get me in. Which resigned me to another quiet night in my room. Then, my ride to church fell through. Sunday morning church is what gets me through my week. Getting up before 11 and watching the Sunday morning show while I get ready. Putting on a nice sweater and dress shoes instead of going straight from pajamas to sweats. And recalibrating myself, getting off campus and being reminded that people beyond the ages of 18-22 do actually exist. Sunday comes just in time to remind me that I live to serve something bigger and stronger and more beautiful than my own life.

I made some calls Saturday night in a last-ditch effort to get to church. But by the time I went to bed I hadn't heard anything, and I had resigned myself to a churchless Sunday. Fortunately, at 8:00 in the morning my phone rang, and someone from Chi Alpha could get me a ride! I got my pink sweater and dress flats and sunday morning show after all. And I got the breath of fresh air that is getting off campus and being in a place of worship, where everyone is glad to be there, or at least sober.

Part of the deal with the ride was a stop to Kohl's on the way home, which I didn't mind one bit. Dishes were on sale, and I bought a bright plate and a bright bowl, all yellows and oranges and reds, and a little bit of green. Eating off of and washing my dishes is something I do every day, and I'm sick of cheap plastic. I needed pretty, matching dishes! I came back for an afternoon of reading, football, and talking on the phone to my family and closest friends. Ahead is a lazy evening of more football, chocolate chai, and some reading for poly sci. I actually enjoy my poly sci reading, it's always so interesting.

So Saturday night, I hate living at college with all my soul and try to resign myself to an unhappy two years. 24 hours later, I'm comfortable and cheered up, looking foward to working on the paper, visiting Stacy next weekend, Thanksgiving, and life in general. I can't get the hang of this. One minute I'm unhappy, and as soon as I settle down to that fact something happens to make life fairly enjoyable. And then the minute I can call myself happy, something falls through and throws me for a loop. Life is either pleasant and promising, or it's tragic and hopeless. I'm up and down and up and down, every day or hour or minute. And the thing is, one miniscule event can make the difference. I've stopped trying to figure out what happens when and why, and just hang on tight.

It's exhausting.